I Don’t Want to be a Proverbs 31 Woman

I Don’t Want to be a Proverbs 31 Woman

I don’t want to be a Proverbs 31 woman. (Gasp!)

There. I said it.

I mean have you ever read the passage?

She has got to be so. tired.

She doesn’t sleep. She never stops. Does she ever do anything for herself?

It seems like she is in a constant state of striving. Always completely a checklist. Always doing.

Always up before the rest of the house starting the day. That is always a little hard around here when my child wants to be the first one up at 5:30 on the daily.

It’s like this woman has set an impossible standard that we are encouraged and told to measure up to, but life already has me so tired, I don’t even desire to do any of these things.

Does she even stop and take a Facebook break? Does even she lock herself in the bathroom to escape for a few minutes? Is she even human?

I realized I was focusing on all the things she does and missed an important part to this passage. A key part of this scripture is found towards the end, v. 30.

“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

We can learn something in the 2nd part of that verse.

This woman isn’t doing these things because she wants to be recognized as mom of the year. She’s not doing all the things because she is anal and controlling and wants her house to be in perfect order. She’s not trying to put us other moms to shame by showing out and being the best wife and person who is completely adored by her family.

She does these things out of the fear of the Lord.

And the fear of the Lord is birthed out of relationship with the Lord.

She’s not striving or simply checking off items. She is living with Christ as the center of her entire being.

So maybe the Proverbs 31 woman isn’t so bad. When I look at it this way, maybe it’s not quite so impossible or even undesirable. When I see her life as life with Christ as the center, in fear and in love for Him, I do want to be that woman. Now it is clear that her life is far more than being known as a trophy wife and mom.

Maybe we don’t wake up before all the kids and meal prep. That doesn’t mean we aren’t living a Proverbs 31 life. It’s so much deeper.

It’s about fear and love for Christ. Noble character. Working purposely. Living generously. Trusting God and living for Him.

So yeah, I still think she is exhausted. But we all live and exhaust our lives for something. Exhausting it for Christ is the way to do it. May we be known for that.

A Hand of Hope

A Hand of Hope

Every now and then Owen will whimper in his sleep. He’s not awake and it’s not a full cry. It’s like he’s having a bad dream or something. Maybe someone is taking his Elmo apple juice from the fridge or maybe he is dreaming about the only bad guy he knows so far.. the Joker. Sometimes it lasts just a second and he goes back to peaceful sleep on his own. Sometimes it lasts a few seconds longer so I go in there to comfort him. I put my hand on his back under his pj shirt and he instantly becomes quiet and calm. I’ll rub his back a few minutes. His breathing picks up and he is back to deep, peaceful sleep.

I can’t help but think of two Bible passages when I’m with my two year old son in this moment.

There is a story where Jesus walks on water. (Matthew 14:22-36) He tells his disciple, Peter, to do the same. Peter begins walking on water, but then becomes afraid of the wind and begins to sink. “Jesus immediately reached out his hand to Peter and caught him.” (v. 31)

There is another story of (the same) Peter, who is later begged for money by a man lame since birth. (Acts 3:1-10) Peter looks him straight in the eye, reaches his right hand out (so similar to the way Jesus did for him when he was in desperate need himself), and helped the man to his feet. Instantly the man’s feet and ankles become strong. The man jumped up and began walking and leaping. Something truly impossible without God.

Peter couldn’t offer the man the money he was looking for, but he offered him something so much better. He told this man, “What I do have I give you.” (v. 6)

There is something so powerful about having someone come alongside you when you are in desperate need, reach out a hand, and give what they have to help your need.

Sometimes it is something we need just for the night. Sometimes it is a life changing moment. I do it for my son. Jesus does it for us. We are to do it for others.

Sometimes it’s our fears that are so loud they overtake our mind and actions, and we need help to silence our fear. Sometimes, like Peter, we need someone to catch us when we begin sinking. Maybe we don’t have confidence in ourselves, or maybe it’s because our confidence isn’t in Christ. Maybe we have been in the same scenario our whole life and don’t even believe we can jump and leap like everyone else.

We need someone to look us straight in the eye, reach out a hand, and help us walk into impossible things.

We all need hope that comes from Christ alone. Sometimes we need help obtaining it. Sometimes we need to help others obtain it.

Our needs are great, but our God is greater. There is power and confidence in Christ. Community is key as we walk through ups and downs. A key part to these passages is grabbing hold of someone’s hand. Allow the help. Allow someone to reach their hand out to help in your need, wherever you are. And when you’re on the other side, don’t avoid those in need. Look them straight in the eye, go and “give what you do have” in the way Jesus did for Peter and the way Peter modeled after Jesus.

H O P E is what we all long to obtain. Hope is what we all need.

A Confident, Happy, Healthy You

A Confident, Happy, Healthy You

If anyone has had a rough transition into motherhood, it’s me. But can we even call it a transition anymore? I’m already 2 years in!

Ain’t no hood like motherhood is the truest thing ever. Motherhood: ain’t nothing like it.

Motherhood is where I lost all personal routine and found myself back and forth on low emotions.

I realized I needed some goals so I sat down, got after it and I wrote down 45! Talk about setting myself up for failure! I picked 4 EASY, obtainable goals to apply to life. These help me feel accomplished and more myself which in turn help me be a better wife and mother and allow me to actually enjoy life’s moments much more.

1. Wake up at the same time everyday.

Jordan Peterson, acclaimed clinical psychologist and author of 12 Rules for Life says in his book,

“Waking up at a consistent hour is a necessity. Anxiety and depression cannot be easily treated if the sufferer has unpredictable daily routines.”

My husband, Daniel, says “Don’t let your kid start your day. You decide when you start you day.”

I used to think not having to set an alarm was one of the best parts of being a SAHM, but turns out it’s not so great. My day is 1000 Xs better when I wake up on my own, even if it’s just a tad bit before my son does. Rather than letting my 2 year old be my alarm clock, I’ve started setting my alarm for 6:00 AM. Sometimes he is up soon after and some days I get a good 40 minutes to myself. If I can start my day alone as simple as brushing my teeth and getting some reading in, it changes everything.

2. Eat breakfast.

Jordan Peterson (again, because, gosh, he is just so good!) also says in 12 Rules for Life, “I counsel my clients to eat a fat and protein-heavy breakfast as soon as possible after they awaken.” He goes on to explain why that specific meal is important. “I have had many clients whose anxiety was reduced to sub clinical levels merely because they started to sleep on a predictable schedule and eat breakfast.”

As a mom sometimes we forget to eat, which then leads to just shoving down some junk food as we walk through the kitchen, which is never a good decision. Making sure I start the day with some food has helped with that throughout the day, plus reducing anxiety as a mom? Yes please!

3. Exercise.

This has zero to do with losing weight or getting skinny. It has everything to do with mood and sanity. My mood and mind act very differently when I do and don’t work out.

• Exercise increases serotonin (sometimes referred to as the happy chemical) because it helps your brain regulate mood, sleep and appetite, contributing to well-being and happiness.

• Exercise increases your level of endorphins, which triggers a positive feeling in the body, thus a natural mood lifter.

• Exercise gives you a focused activity that can help you feel a sense of accomplishment.

4. Set an easy, obtainable daily goal.

I have found a daily feeling of accomplishment does wonders. And I’m talking, E A S Y , simple 2 minute tasks – make your bed, open the blinds, put your coffee mug in the dishwasher. Simple. Accomplished. Done. Now, you can conquer the world! ✅

Sit down and write your own goals. Get together with someone who knows you best and can help identify things that really help create a confident, happy, healthy you. And then get after it, mama. Here’s to a better day, a better week, a better you!